Alone in the Dark Woods is the Best Place to Cry

So remember how I volunteered to go to remedial night land nav a few weeks ago even though I passed the first one?

And remember how I failed it? And that I not only failed it, a branch fell from a tree onto my head?

Yeah well "they" decided to hold another night land nav remedial, joy to the world. 8 of us.

70 is passing. I got a 70 on the first one and a 60 on the second one. Apparently the second time I drifted right for all my boxes. I don't know what my errors were for the first one, heaven forbid they tell us. Yeah I know I should have asked, save it.

Yesterday was bad and I was extremely on edge when I went over for remedial. There was approximately 0% illumination last night and I was mega paranoid about failing again, though I figured I'd fail again since I didn't understand how I drifted right last time. I was super careful about keeping the correct azimuth, checked it every ten paces, even walked into boxes.

Usually I finish in 2 hrs and we're given 3 hours. Last night I was slow. It was really frustrating. I didn't even have time to find my last box. I kept getting stuck in thorn bushes (a theme for me) and I got mad to the point where I think I kicked a fallen tree several times. It took a significant act of will to keep from screaming. I also fell a bunch of times.

I was angry and upset about life and figured being alone in the dark woods was a good place to cry. I bawled. I had a major breakdown in the woods, especially when I realized that by getting caught up in brambles and thorns with little time left I'd never get to my last box and make it back before drop-dead time. I started and thought I'd muscle it through and speed to my box but realized it wouldn't work. I had to give up. I only found 3 boxes and that's a max score of 75, if I didn't drift at all. On my way back to the road I seriously lost it.

I thought I pulled it together when I turned my card in. The Capt wasn't particularly happy that I didn't muscle it through but I knew it was diminishing returns. I doubted with all the falling and getting stuck I experienced for boxes 1-3 that I even got those right.

I got a 70. I was one box to the left for the first one. Go figure. And I was the most careful and fell the least for that one.

The Capt could tell I had been crying even though I wasn't anymore. He lectured me about there being no place for crying and I felt really small.

I bawled on the lonely walk back. I barely fell tough at all.